Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As if the disturbingly creepy episode of the Twilight Zone didn't already ingrain that message in our minds. According to others, I have that "I don't give a shit" and "I hate everyone" attitude going on. Most people call it a defense mechanism. Yea. Defense against a cruel and highly unfair society. We create labels. We do this unconsciously. I'm that weird, nerdy Asian. It's cool.
But seriously. We allow our beauty, intelligence, capability, and uniqueness to be defined by social standards. If you're not the thin blonde, you're meh-ish. If you're not asian, you're of average intelligence. HOW THE HELL DOES SOCIETY EXPECT US TO BE INDIVIDUALS WHEN THEY ARE FORCING US TO CONFORM TO SUCH RIGID STANDARDS? I don't understand this, frankly. But we get so beaten up over it that we criticize ourselves, hate our image, and try to change into something we're not in order to 'fit in'. What's so great about that anyway. Fitting into the popular group in high school doesn't do shit. I'm sorry to be honest, but honey, that doesn't determine how successful you will be, okay?
So what. Be the nerdy asian, be the weird rocker girl, be the band geek. BE WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY.
"Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter."
Now some of you maybe like oh I'm this way because of my parents, or because I want more friends, or I don't want that boy to think I'm awkward and strange.
I can relate, to all of it. My parents have a standard of me, and too often they've told me that they're disappointed. They judge what I do, how I act, how I dress. At one point I cared, then I realized, wait, they don't get a say in this. Ok they raised me and everything, but in the end, I'm a human being that is capable of moral decision making. I can do whatever I want that makes me happy. My friends that don't like me as I am can go and piss off. Because true friends won't mind plus you will find better, more supportive friends along the way. And guys. Psh. Do not get me started. All I will say is this. If you have to fake it to get someone to like you, it's going to end badly. Just stop letting other people decide who you are.
In the end, you're going to die alone. I don't care what anyone tells you. Sorry to be morbid. Would you like who you are then? Probably not if you've changed yourself in accordance to judgy people.
Self-esteem issues are caused because people care way too much about being judged. I mean if you don't care, just take in what other people say, and not let it stay in your mind for too long, would it really be a problem? What is an insult but a phrase of words formed by the vibration of the vocal chords travelling in soundwaves to your inner ear. They. Can't. Actually. Do. Shit. But I understand that people have a hard time with this, but words are just words. They're not forces, they're malleable, and most of the time, untruthful, and deceptive. So why care that much. If you're happy with what you do and how you are, and you can live with yourself. Then it's all good, I assure you.
Now, I'm not telling you to become a high functioning sociopath or anything (although they seem to get along on their own just fine), because appropriately having feelings and emotions are human as well. But human's first instinct is defense, suppressing pain, fight or flight; so why are we subjecting ourselves to bitterness and putting ourselves out there to get hurt?
The next time people talk harshly to you, simply say: "I will be damned if I have to stand around here and be judged by the likes of you."
But seriously. We allow our beauty, intelligence, capability, and uniqueness to be defined by social standards. If you're not the thin blonde, you're meh-ish. If you're not asian, you're of average intelligence. HOW THE HELL DOES SOCIETY EXPECT US TO BE INDIVIDUALS WHEN THEY ARE FORCING US TO CONFORM TO SUCH RIGID STANDARDS? I don't understand this, frankly. But we get so beaten up over it that we criticize ourselves, hate our image, and try to change into something we're not in order to 'fit in'. What's so great about that anyway. Fitting into the popular group in high school doesn't do shit. I'm sorry to be honest, but honey, that doesn't determine how successful you will be, okay?
So what. Be the nerdy asian, be the weird rocker girl, be the band geek. BE WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY.
"Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter."
Now some of you maybe like oh I'm this way because of my parents, or because I want more friends, or I don't want that boy to think I'm awkward and strange.
I can relate, to all of it. My parents have a standard of me, and too often they've told me that they're disappointed. They judge what I do, how I act, how I dress. At one point I cared, then I realized, wait, they don't get a say in this. Ok they raised me and everything, but in the end, I'm a human being that is capable of moral decision making. I can do whatever I want that makes me happy. My friends that don't like me as I am can go and piss off. Because true friends won't mind plus you will find better, more supportive friends along the way. And guys. Psh. Do not get me started. All I will say is this. If you have to fake it to get someone to like you, it's going to end badly. Just stop letting other people decide who you are.
In the end, you're going to die alone. I don't care what anyone tells you. Sorry to be morbid. Would you like who you are then? Probably not if you've changed yourself in accordance to judgy people.
Self-esteem issues are caused because people care way too much about being judged. I mean if you don't care, just take in what other people say, and not let it stay in your mind for too long, would it really be a problem? What is an insult but a phrase of words formed by the vibration of the vocal chords travelling in soundwaves to your inner ear. They. Can't. Actually. Do. Shit. But I understand that people have a hard time with this, but words are just words. They're not forces, they're malleable, and most of the time, untruthful, and deceptive. So why care that much. If you're happy with what you do and how you are, and you can live with yourself. Then it's all good, I assure you.
Now, I'm not telling you to become a high functioning sociopath or anything (although they seem to get along on their own just fine), because appropriately having feelings and emotions are human as well. But human's first instinct is defense, suppressing pain, fight or flight; so why are we subjecting ourselves to bitterness and putting ourselves out there to get hurt?
The next time people talk harshly to you, simply say: "I will be damned if I have to stand around here and be judged by the likes of you."